Figments of Delusions
by Tainted-Oddity
Summary: Sometimes there are things we wish we could forget, other things we wish had never happened, and sometimes, the brain completely blocks out certain events out of our memory when the trauma is too great to handle. Such a struggle between facing reality and living into complete denial is the trial Feathers, a small natu, will have to undergo...


It's been one of those nights again! I really despise having nightmares, I sure would rather be enjoying some tasty berries! At least, I always have some for breakfast; pecha berries to be exact, my favourite kind! They help me get over the frequent nightmares I get since we visited Lavender town a few years ago. That place gave me the eeks!

Oh, pardon me, I haven't introduced myself. I am Feathers, a natu, and a complete scaredy-cat -or scaredy-bird, if you prefer. My trainer caught me early on her pokeadventure and we've been close partners since then. To be honest, I didn't like her at first, for I originally saw my capture as the end of my freedom. However it soon revealed to be the beginning of a wonderful friendship, full of adventures and filled with love and camaraderie. She has always been there for me, and so have I for her. She gave me a home where I can feel safe, along with another great friend: Spark, a minun. Me and Spark love to play outside in the garden. All those flowers give off a refreshing and soothing smell, it helps me relax a lot after a good battle. I'd say it's ten times better than a visit to the pokecenter. Actually, having nurses hurrying all around me to help the pokemons in need stresses me out more than you could imagine, and stress can do no good to one's health! My trainer knows that very well, and she also knows that I dislike small closed places, so she allows me to stay out of my pokeball, and when we're out travelling, I like to sit on her shoulder. That is actually where I spend most of my time, it gives me a good view on what's around us. She even respected my choice to not evolve! That's just how great my trainer is!

My god, I'm talking so much that I've actually gone on another subject!  
Ah yes, Lavender Town... That freaky, creepy, eerie, unnerving, and disturbing place! I knew going there would bring no good!  
When my trainer told me it was time to visit that town, I freaked out, for I had heard of it in the past. We, natus, avoid this place at all costs. You know how we are; a very paranoid and easily creeped out species! I finally agreed to go after a long moment of fighting back. After all, what could happen to me? I mean, I was safe with my trainer, was I not? Besides, it seemed very important to her.

As we were getting close to Lavender Town, we met another trainer. Of course we battled! But that trainer was so good! His pokemons were so strong! After a couple of hits received, I was left badly injured, and Spark had to come and help me out. I think my wounds were serious, not only did they hurt a lot, but oh my! That concerned look on my trainer's face when she picked me up! I had never seen her in such a state! She was a total emotionnal wreck! She ran to the pokecenter carrying me in her arms, while Spark led the way. After that, I don't know what happened, I think I fainted.

I remember waking up on a table in the pokecenter, with nurse Joy looking down at me. When she saw me open my eyes, she smiled. She then asked me how I was feeling, and said that I had recovered faster than expected. She looked at a huge screen filled with strange symbols and colors, then told my trainer that I was ready to go home. She had not finished her sentence that I was already back onto my trainer's shoulder. My trainer thanked nurse Joy and we left the pokecenter... morbidly and brutally reminding me of which town we were in...

As much as I was already not liking this place, I was now hating it. Barely had we gotten there that we already had some bad luck befall us.  
I noticed we were walking toward a dark and tall tower. How great was my surprise when we entered it; upon seeing all the tombstones when my trainer pushed the huge door, I jumped in fright, letting out a shriek. There were not much people in there, only a few trainers silently mourning the death of a beloved companion. Although the place was silent and mostly empty, I kept earing strange noises all around us... noises I couldn't really describe, coming and going, like restless spirits sizzling around us. I was terrified! But my trainer did not seem to hear them. I kept staring without moving in the direction of the strange noises, whenever I heard one. I was shaking.  
My trainer had stopped and kneeled in front of a tomb. Maybe she had lost a friend and came to mourn too? That would explain why it seemed so important to her to come in this town. I can't tell what was written on the grave, for I don't know how to read. Besides, I was too busy keeping a close eye on my surroundings. I'd notice things moving in the corner of my eyes... shadows, clouds, blurry shapes, you name it! Yet, everytime I turned around to have a look, they were always gone. My imagination was running wild! I started pecking my trainer on the neck to tell her to hurry up and leave.

When she finally stood up and headed toward the exit, I was relieved! Finally the scare was over!  
...not really. Like I told you earlier, since that day, I kept having nightmares at night. They were more frequent at first, but now they've subsided a bit. If I'm lucky, I can go a few days before having one again. Those nightmares I get are terrifying! They always start the same way with me waking up in the morning... then it can be different. At first, my trainer would ignore me. No matter how hard I tried to get her attention, she acted as if I did not exist. Then, slowly Spark started ignoring me too. Sometimes there's nobody around, I'm left all alone in the dark. Sometimes I'll then hear their voices in the next room, but when I run there, there is nobody and nothing but darkness. Those are the dreams I'm getting more recently -since a few months to be exact-, waking up in a completely abandoned, dark, and cold house, then I remember the tower in Lavender... I start hearing the sounds in my head again... and the hallucinations, but my trainer is not there to protect me, and the only thing I can do is run back to my bed, which happens to also be my trainer's bed, and hide under the covers until I wake up from the dream. Sometimes, I even come back to see the room empty, with our bed nowhere to be found.  
I always wake up shaking and crying from these nightmares.

I've been so shaken by all of that that I've even started to be paranoid when I'm not even sleeping! At first I'd keep having those scary thoughts and images play over and over again in my head, having me wonder if it would really be like that if I lost my trainer. Now sometimes I even have hallucinations, or lucid dreams as they are called. I'll look for a moment in one direction to see a dark and empty corner of the house, then look again just to confirm what I just saw, but everything will be back to normal, or I'll be looking everywhere for my trainer, then hear her behind me calling me and asking what's wrong. Everytime, I rush into her arms, I'm so scared! How I wish I could tell her! Unfortunatly, I don't speak human. I did talk with Spark about it, and he supports me a lot. At least I have a friend to whom I am able to tell all my worries.

We're still very early in the morning, the sun barely started to show itself out the window, and my trainer is still sleeping. Although I'm still a bit sleepy, I don't want to go back to sleep. I just woke up from one of those horrible nightmares again, and having that freshly on my mind, it might just come back if I fall back to sleep.  
Now you will excuse me, I need to go take a pee... hopefully that'll help kill the time before everyone wakes up. I'm heading out to the garden. It's still pretty dark both inside and outside the house, I need to be careful not to bump into anything! Oh joy! My trainer left her window open, that'll make my trip out easier.  
Let's find a nice spot. Oh! Here, below the fountain! I shall bathe myself a little too, that water is so refreshing in the morning!

Eek! Incoming spearow!  
Phew, I dodged him. Haha! I'm pretty skilled! ...well actually he didn't look like he even saw me. Maybe spearows can't see well in the dark? Anyways, time to go inside!  
Oh, the window's closed! My trainer must have awoken and closed the window. I need to find another way in, I do not want to stay stuck outside all alone, especially with those wild spearows around!  
Hmmm strange, my trainer should be up, but there is no light anywhere in the house, and it's still much too dark for her to leave the lights off! I will try calling out for Spark, maybe he can help me get inside.

No response, he does not hear me. I'll just go back in the garden, I should be safe there.  
...but where is the garden?!  
Where it usually is... it's just full of overgrown plants like no one would have been taking care of them in months! ...and the fountain is dried up. What's up with all that? I just bathed in it only a few minutes ago... WHAT? My feathers are dry!

I must be still sleeping! Yes! That's the only explanation! I was so sleepy that I fell back to sleep without noticing, and those horrible nightmares came back! But I know morning is coming soon so this won't last for long... I hope. I just need to be patient...

My trainer! I hear her calling for me! Her voice came from inside the house. Victory! A broken window that I can use to go inside! ...though I do not remember the house having any broken window.  
Despair! The house is dark and empty! And my trainer's voice stopped calling! I know! She is trying to wake me up! It's finally morning! I will be waking up soon!

Yes, soon enough!

Just a few more minutes!

It's coming!

...come on, dear self, wake up!

_Why don't I wake up?_

What's wrong? She WAS trying to wake me up, right? That's the reason I heard her voice calling out my name, right?

...right?

...seems like this nightmare is not over yet... or maybe it's one of those lucid dreams or hallucinations I sometimes get during daytime? If so, how can I get rid of it? I'll go back to our bedroom... but... but it's empty... not even the bed is there. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I'll go in a corner... and try to sleep... maybe it'll all be better when I wake up...

There! I heard her calling me again! She's outside the room... it stopped as soon as I looked out again. She is not there.  
If... if I am not dreaming, then... what is all this? Why... what is the meaning of this!? Where is everyone?

I heard something! This time I am sure of it! It came from the front door! I hear footsteps! My trainer came back, finally!  
Wait! Who... who are those people, I have never seen them before! What are they doing here? I see a young couple, they are looking around. A lady dressed in a nice blue suit is following them. I'll try to attract their attention, maybe they know where my trainer and Spark are!

Why are they ignoring me? I'm even trying to peck the woman, but she totally ignores me, as if she isn't feeling a thing! What's going on!?  
It seems like they're visiting the house, but why? The lady in the blue suit is talking about a sale!? But this is not possible, this house is not for sale! It's my house! Where is my trainer? She'd tell them! Or... did my trainer abandon me here? No! She would never do that! There must be a misunderstanding!

Weird images are coming back to my mind... that day at Lavender Town... the trainer fight and the worried look on my trainer's face... nurse Joy looking down at me... the creepy tower filled with graves... weird sensations are filling me up, as if I was reliving that scary event... my strength abandoning me as my trainer was hurrying to the pokecenter... nurse Joy telling something to my trainer and my trainer subsequently bursting into tears...

Did... did I actually die on that day? Was everything afterwards just figments of my imagination? ...and those "nightmares" the cruel reality?

_...and was my trainer actually visiting MY grave?_


End file.
